Have you ever had one of those mornings that just starts off with a bang? I'm talking a bam smack you in the face, get the hell out of bed only to end up wishing you never got out of bed kind of morning. Yeah, that kind of morning slapped me in the face today. So after the frustration left and the laughter started I decided to share with you a step by step guide on how to achieve such a bangup morning such as the one I had.
1. Get yourself a vintage alarm clock like the one you had in highschool that way it can wake you up 59 minutes after it is scheduled to go off.
2. Rush the kids to eat and get dressed and ignore that your son is complaining of a stomach ache and just call it a typical "don't want to go to school excuse".
3. Purposely drop your keys on the way out to load the children into the car.
4. Jedi mind f**k your garage door opener into not working.
5. Climb onto the bumper of your car with the intention of falling off said bumper while the garage door release handle slowly slips out of your hands (you should really try this, it's quite fun).
6. Destroy you purse, car interior and pockets looking for the keys you "purposely" left in the house.
7. Call your loving husband who is sleeping oh so comfortably in the bed you wish you were hiding under.
8. Knock/fist pump/punch on the door that locked itself. Maybe throw in a good kick or two and of course a nice scream while you're at it.
9. When all else fails lay on the horn until a fore mentioned husband stumbles out into the garage with a crazed confused look on his face.
10. Pretend this was all just some sick cosmic joke seeing as your husband had absolutely no issues getting the garage door to open.
There you have it. In ten easy steps, maybe less if you're in a hurry, you too can achieve this awesomeness of a morning.
